A Single Tear
by NoriChan
Summary: Yuki and Shuichi are having a fight, but will they be able to make up like usual? Shuichi's POV is up , Yuki's will be next chapter. *COMPLETE*
1. Default Chapter

Title: A Single Tear Disclaimer: I own nothing. The song is Avril Lavigne's and so forth.. Rating: PG just to be safe. Notes: Just a small songficish thing. The next chapter will be from Yuki's POV. I'm not sure how far i wanna take this fic. I suppose it depends on my responses. *winkwink* ___________________________________________  
  
~*Why do you always do this to me Why couldn't you just see this through me How come you act like this Like you just don't care at all Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall.*~  
  
Shuichi sat in the pouring rain, all cried out, but in need of another good cry. He sniffled, giving a small hiccup and looked up into the sky. Rain hit his face harshly, blurring his vision and a single tear slid down his cheek.  
  
(One Hour Before)  
  
"I don't care, leave if you want! It'll just make things easier on me." the blonde cried, letting his voice rise. "Your nothing, but a pain anyway."  
  
"Fine! If that's the way you feel than maybe I'll never come back!" Shuichi hollered, tears streaming down his cheeks.  
  
Yuki said nothing, but turned his back to the younger man and walked away towards his office. Shuichi watched him go, biting back a sob and turned towards the door, reaching for the knob he paused. Could this really be the way Yuki wanted it? Did he really feel that way? Feeling a fresh onslaught of tears forming, Shuichi threw the door open and ran out.  
  
~*I can feel I can feel you near me Even when you're far away I can feel I can feel you baby Why*~  
  
It was raining like mad outside and the cold autumn winds whipped the rain in every direction. The pink haired man mentally kicked himself for not bringing a coat and stared up into the endless skies. Perfect, Shuichi thought, a sky that reflects my feelings. The rain mingled with his salty tears and Shuichi wiped his eyes on his sleeve. Looking around briefly, he fled the sidewalk and ran.  
  
He ran fast and hard, but to where he was going he hadn't a clue. He'd ran out like that plenty and more than half the time he seeked condolence from his long time friend, Hiro, but this time he wasn't going to. He'd go some place nobody would find him, somewhere that even he didn't know was. Though it would have sounded silly to any logical person, Shuichi wasn't a very logical person and the plus fact that he was upset improved this situation none.  
  
~*It's not supposed to feel this way But I need you I need you More and more each day It's not supposed to hurt this way But I need you I need you I need you Tell me Are you and me still together Tell me You think we could last forever Tell me Why*~  
  
Shuichi was starting to tire, but he knew there was no turning back now. He urged himself to keep going. Maybe, just maybe, if he ran fast enough and far enough he could outrun it all. He could outrun his pain, his suffering, his need-- Shuichi could only hope. Panting his violet eyes darted aroud to gather his surroundings and he came to the startling realization that he was now lost. Another wave over tears swept over him and they began to flow down his cheeks. That was what he had wanted right? He wanted to leave, to disappear from everyone and everything.  
  
Fatigue finally overwhelmed him and he fell painfully to the ground, letting out a sob. Thankfully he had veered off the roadways a while back and was now in what appeared to be a park. Forcing himself up, Shuichi stood slowly and walked clumsily to a nearby bench. He collapsed on to it and pulled his knees to his chest with a sob. Why? Why did Yuki always do this to him? Why did he always do this to himself? Shuichi's tears stopped, a few still dripping down his cheeks. He was so exhausted he could cry no more.  
  
~*Hey Listen to what we're not saying Let's play A different game then what we're playin' Try To look at me and really see my heart Do you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart  
  
I can feel I can feel you near me Even when you're far away I can feel I can feel you baby Why*~  
  
(Present)  
  
Now here he sat alone. So terribly and painfully alone. He had no idea how long it had really been, but it felt as if an eternity had passed. He wondered what Yuki was doing right now. If he was sorry in the slightest for what he said. They fought a lot, but usually neither of them meant what they were saying. This time though, this time there was something in Yuki's voice that made Shuichi nervous. What would he do if Yuki didn't ever want to see him again? How could he survive?  
  
Shuichi sat, his mind lost in question after question. They'd been through so much, it couldn't just end this way! No, it couldn't and Shuichi wouldn't let it. He'd apologize, beg to be forgiven and maybe Yuki-- maybe Yuki would be kind enough to give him his stuff. Shuichi sighed, there was nothing he could say or do. If Yuki didn't want him back, he wouldn't be able to convince him otherwise. Letting out a dry sob, Shuichi hugged his legs closer to his chest, the rain seeming to pound down harder. What was going to happen to him and Yuki now...?  
  
~*So go and think about  
  
whatever you need to think about  
  
Go on dream about  
  
Whatever you need to dream sbout  
  
Then come back to me  
  
When you know just how you feel  
  
I can feel I can feel you near me  
  
Even when you're far away  
  
I can feel I can feel you baby  
  
Why*~  
  
___________________________________________________________________ Note: Yuki's POV will be up soon. This really didn't take me long to write. lol. I may just leave it at Yuki's POV, but I'm also thinking about making a third chapter as to what happens. Let me know what you think! 


	2. Yuki

Title: A Single Tear Disclaimer: I own nothing. The song is Avril Lavigne's and so forth.. Rating: PG just to be safe. Notes: This time from Yuki's POV. I've chosen another Avril song and I'm honestly thinking about continuing and making this a S/? ficceh...who is ? ....review and let me know whether to end it with one more chapter or go on with it.... *Evil laugh* ___________________________________________  
  
~* I wake up in the morning  
  
Put on my face  
  
The one that's gonna get me  
  
Through another day  
  
Doesn't really matter  
  
How I feel inside  
  
This life is like a game sometimes*~  
  
Yuki stopped in the hallway, waiting for the usual slamming of the door. There was a pause and it opened, but the slam never came. Yuki turned slowly, getting a clear look at the open door. Damn brat. Was he raised in a barn? The tall blonde nonchalantly went and closed the door, allowing himself a small sigh. It was a never-ending paradigm. They'd fight, harsh words would be exchanged and they'd just end up crawling back to each other in the end. Though usually it was Shuichi doing the crawling.  
  
The novelist turned his back to the door and leaned back against it, looking up at the ceiling above. Why did they keep kidding themselves? So much heartache could never be love. Could it? Yuki shook his head, amber eyes closing. It was like a big game, like hide-and-go-seek or tag. They just kept running and coming back for more. When would it end? Would they ever be happy together? The thought of living without the bundle of pink haired energy made Yuki's heart clench. Sure, anybody who knew Shuichi would have to admit he's quite annoying at times, but Shuichi had made Yuki feel something that nobody else had.  
  
*~Then you came around me  
  
The walls just disappeared  
  
Nothing to surround me  
  
Keep me from my fears  
  
I'm unprotected  
  
See how I've opened up  
  
You've made me trust *~  
  
  
  
Yuki wouldn't allow himself to call that something love, but it was at the least a great fondness. He felt comfortable around the vocalist and he loved him unconditionally. He didn't want sex or money he just wanted Yuki. Plain and simple. All Shuichi ever asked for was to be with him and that Yuki would feel the way he felt, but every time Yuki pushed him away. Somewhere deep down Yuki knew it was true, despite how much he wished it wasn't. He did love Shuichi. Though he never spoke those three small words to Shuichi, Yuki had always assumed Shuichi knew. What if he didn't? What if Shuichi never came back? Maybe Shuichi would never know how Yuki truly felt. So this is how it was going to end..  
  
~* I've never felt like this before  
  
I'm naked around you  
  
Does it show  
  
You see right through me  
  
And I can't hide  
  
I'm naked around you  
  
And it feels so right *~  
  
Rising from the door, Yuki headed to his office. He immediately reached for his phone, dialing Nakano's number. He knew it by heart, having called several times before looking for Shuichi. It rang once.. twice.. and finally halfway through a third ring a somewhat groggy sounding Hiro answered the phone.  
  
"Moshi, moshi?" came yawned greeting.  
  
"Nakano? This is Yuki, may I speak to Shuichi?" Yuki asked, voice void of emotion.  
  
"Uh.." Was the confused response from the other end. "Shu-chan isn't here, isn't he staying with you?"  
  
Yuki grumbled a sort of 'thanks anyway' and hung up the phone. If Shuichi wasn't at Hiro's then where was he? Yuki's heart raced envisioning a million horrible things that could have happened to his lover. He shook his head, forcing himself to quit being so stupid. Shuichi was a big boy, he could take care of himself. It was at that time that a bolt of lightning lit up the sky, a horrible crack sounding in its wake. Yuki looked out the window, running a hand through his messy blonde tresses. Shuichi is fine, he told himself, reaching for a pack of cigarettes on his desk. Lighting one up, he took a long drag. He was definitely losing it.  
  
He left his office, going into the living room. Taking a seat on the couch Yuki puffed away on his cigarette. Trying to take his mind off the pink haired vocalist, Yuki looked around his empty apartment. Things sure were quiet without Shuichi around. There he went again, was Shuichi the only thing he could think about? Giving in Yuki allowed himself to dwell on the little ball of energy known as Shuichi. His adorable smile, soft hair, and breath taking eyes. Everything about the boy was so brilliant and amazing in it's own way. Since the little 'brat' had waltzed into his life, Yuki could hardly picture the way his life was before him. Actually, come to think of it, he could. It was boring, quiet, and most of all; lonely. Though he and Shuichi talked little Yuki missed having the energetic Shuichi around to talk to if he wanted. Shuichi had been the only person Yuki trusted. Well as much as Yuki trusted anyway.  
  
*~Trying to remember  
  
Why I was afraid  
  
To be myself  
  
And let the covers fall away  
  
Guess I never had someone like you  
  
To help me fit in my skin*~  
  
Letting out a loud, exasperated sigh Yuki put out his cigarette and dropped his arms to the side of him. His hand landed on something soft and the novelist looked over to see Shuichi's little piece of cloth that he called a blanket. He picked it up, holding it before him, staring at it as if the answers of the universe were written upon it. Yuki held it up to his face, smelling Shuichi on the blanket and sighed. It hadn't even been 2 hours and he missed the little idiot. What if Shuichi never came back to him? What if. The horrible 'what ifs' began to plague Yuki again and his head swam.  
  
If Shuichi never came back, there would be one thing Yuki would feel eternally guilty for. He'd never told Shuichi how he truly felt. Maybe that was even one of the reasons Shuichi left him this time. Yuki never really made an effort to do special things with his little lover or even tell him he appreciated and loved him. Now his chance may have just slipped away from him. Maybe he'd lost Shuichi because of his foolish pride. As he sat there, his vision blurred slightly. His head was pounding. In frustration to rid himself of the vision-blurring-pain Yuki shook his head gently, but to his surprise a wet substance rolled down his cheek. Raising his hand slowly he touched the single tear rolling down his cheek. A single tear for Shuichi.....  
  
  
  
~ *I'm naked around you  
  
Does it show  
  
I'm naked around you  
  
I'm so naked around you  
  
And I can't hide  
  
You're gonna see right through baby *~  
  
  
  
___________________________________________  
  
I greatly dislike this actually. I don't think I did a very good job portraying Yuki. Eh, oh well. I gave it my best effort, didn't I? Of course! Anyway let me know what you think. More or finish with one more chapter? Many Thanks! NoriChan 


	3. Stigmatized

Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: Stigmatized is by The Calling and I own nothing..blah, blah, blah and so forth  
  
Notes: Thanks to all those who reviewed! It meant a lot to get some good feedback! This will be the very last chapter in 'A Single Tear' and I've decided to go fluffy and sprinkle on the sap. Sorry if you were looking for Shu-chan to bounce off arm-in-arm with Ryu-chan (I was rooting for that one myself, but lack of time forced this upon me LOL) Enjoy please! _______________________________________  
  
*~If I give up on you I give up on me  
  
If we fight what's true, will we ever be  
  
Even God himself and the faith I knew  
  
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you  
  
Tease me, by holding out your hand  
  
Then leave me, or take me as I am  
  
And live our lives, stigmatized~*  
  
The engine of Yuki's car roared to life and backed out, pulling out of the space. Yuki sat in the driver's seat, drumming his fingers on the wheel. He was going to find Shuichi and if nothing else, tell the younger man how he felt. That he wanted him, loved him, needed him. If this was how it was going to end, so be it, but Yuki wouldn't give up without a fight. He wasn't going to live his life always recalling the love of his life passing him by. He WAS going to find Shuichi. Shuichi was the only thing Yuki had in this world and he was determined not to lose him.  
  
______________________  
  
The rain wasn't letting up any, but Shuichi didn't care. Might as well sit here until it stopped. He had no place to go anyway. Lifting his violet gaze from the ground before him he buried his face in his knees. Of all the endings possible for him and Yuki, Shuichi never saw this one coming quite honestly. It felt as if his world was crumbling around him. Like a wonderful dream shattered by the morning light. What was Yuki doing right now? Did he even bother to give a second thought to Shuichi? More than likely not, Shuichi answered himself with a sigh. He loved Yuki so much, was it too much to ask that Yuki show just the slightest inkling that he felt the same way? Shuichi didn't think so, but he never knew with Yuki. Yuki's heart was a mystery. Completely sheltered in a wall of ice from anyone. How stupid of him to think that Yuki would be willing to let that wall melt for him.  
  
The sound of laughing diverted Shuichi's gaze back up and over to a nearby sidewalk. A man and woman were running together, holding hands lovingly, hiding beneath a dinky piece of newspaper for protection. Though both were completely soaked, they both wore smiles upon their faces, staring at each other with complete adoration as they romped through the rain. Shuichi felt a pang of jealousy in the pit of his stomach and shivered. He and Yuki never did things like that together. In fact they were hardly ever in public together. The thought alone made Shuichi sulk even more and for once he wished that Yuki loved him enough to take him out or walk with him. Shaking his head, causing buckets of water to fly everywhere, Shuichi bit back a sob. Things would never be that way with Yuki.  
  
*~I can feel the blood rushing though my veins  
  
When I hear your voice, driving me insane  
  
Hour after hour day after day  
  
Every lonely night that I sit and pray  
  
Tease me, by holding out your hand  
  
Then leave me, or take me as I am  
  
And live our lives, stigmatized*~  
  
Yuki drove all over the place. Every possible place he thought he may find Shuichi, but his search had been in vain so far. Pulling over into a nearby parking lot Yuki sat in his car silently. The unmelodic beat of rain against his window sounded in the background as he sat in the quiet of his car. The sound of Shuichi's angry voice sounded in his ears..  
  
"Fine! If that's the way you feel than maybe I'll never come back!"  
  
Remembering the tears flowing down the vocalists cheeks Yuki sighed, banging his head gently against the steering wheel. Sometimes he was such an idiot. Frustrated with himself and the silence overwhelming him, Yuki opened his door and got out into the pouring rain. He stood there for a moment, blinking as a few of the harsh rain drops caught in his eye lashes. Shuichi just had to be around here somewhere, Yuki could feel it. He shut the door of his car, deciding he could look around better on foot and took off in search of his lost lover. It was raining cats and dogs, but Yuki kept going. He stopped at cross walk and look to both ways, seeing no sign of his lover. He had to be getting closer, something kept telling him this was where Shuichi was. He just had to be. As Yuki crossed, a young couple hiding beneath a tiny piece of newspaper passed him giggling. Feeling a knot in his stomach Yuki sighed. He never did things like that with Shuichi. That would be one of the first things to change. If Shuichi took him back that is. He'd make sure Shuichi knew he loved him and he'd do so much more with him. He couldn't promise to give his heart completely, but he would offer Shuichi what he could. He just hoped that it would be enough. "Don't give up on me yet, Shuichi." Yuki murmured, picking up his pace.  
  
~* We live our lives on different sides,  
  
But we keep together you and I  
  
Just live our lives, stigmatized  
  
We'll live our lives, We'll take the punches everyday  
  
We'll live our lives, I know we're gonna find our way*~  
  
Wondering vaguely if he planned to just sit here tell he caught cold and died, Shuichi let go of his legs, sitting upon the bench properly. He stared up into the sky, the rain drops seeming to lessen ever so slightly. The strawberry haired man stood slowly, not trusting his legs right away. His legs hurt from sitting cramped up in a little ball for so long, but he shook of the pain. It was nothing compared to the aching in his heart. Taking a few small steps forward, Shuichi dropped his gaze back to the ground, folding his arms over his chest with a shiver. His mind wandered over everything that he and Yuki had been through. Every night they spent making love, every moment they talked, ever kiss or hug they shared. Sometimes Yuki was so loving that it hardly seemed the cold-hearted Yuki that Shuichi saw so much of was real. It didn't matter now though, things were over.  
  
He'd just been kidding himself this whole time, right? It was stupid to think Yuki could ever love him back. No matter how many times Shuichi repeated this to himself, a part of him couldn't let go. Yuki had to love him, he just had to. Why would he let Shuichi stay with him if he didn't? Why would he kiss him and hold him like he did if he didn't love Shuichi? The man stopped dead in his tracks and thought. Yuki never told him he loved him, but he really never had to! All those sweet little things Yuki did for him was Yuki's way of saying he loved Shuichi. They just had to be. Shuichi's mind was working overtime and his eyes widened. He couldn't give up on Yuki yet, no he wouldn't give up on Yuki! Even if it seemed like Yuki disliked him, deep down Shuichi could tell he felt the same way. He felt foolish that he'd never realized this before. Shuichi began again at a quick pace. Now he had to make it back to Yuki before he gave up on him, like Shuichi had almost done to him.  
  
*~I believe in you  
  
Even if no one understands  
  
I Believe in you, and I don't really give a damn  
  
If we're stigmatized  
  
We live our lives on different sides  
  
But we keep together you and I  
  
We live our lives on different sides*~  
  
Yuki sighed in defeat, he wasn't going to find Shuichi. If Shuichi didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be. Yuki slowed down his pace, walking steadily down the wet sidewalk. What he wouldn't give for a cigarette right about now. As his mind wandered, he became aware of a funny feeling in his stomach. It was the same feeling he had earlier when he thought Shuichi had been near. Yuki paused, suddenly feeling anxious. Could he really face Shuichi could he really let him know how he felt. Well...He was going to try. Yuki began walking forward again, his pace increasing as he went. Around the corner, Shuichi was flat-out running. He was glancing around, trying to place the signs. Now that he was less upset he was thinking a bit straighter, but he was still pretty lost. Worrying his bottom lip Shuichi paused at the corner sign. He read it over a few times and tried placing where exactly he was. From what he could tell, he was pretty far from-- Yuki? Out of the corner of his eye Shuichi spotted a familiar blonde form jogging his way. Could it possibly be Yuki? No, it couldn't be! Could it?  
  
*  
  
Yuki spotted a strawberry haired man standing at the corner. The rain blurred his vision, but Yuki knew it was Shuichi. Who else in Japan had hair that color? It seemed that Shuichi had seen him too, but Yuki wasn't sure. Would he run away or would he give Yuki a second to talk? Yuki hoped for the latter. The figure at the corner paused and turned towards Yuki, hesitating before beginning towards him. Yuki almost smiled and when they met halfway down the sidewalk, Yuki wrapped his arms around the smaller man. Shuichi clung to Yuki tightly, letting out sigh.  
  
"Yuki, I wanted to apol-"  
  
"Shh..Shuichi, I..." he stopped, choking on his words.  
  
Shuichi glanced up at him, his violet eyes reflecting his confusion. Yuki sighed, placing a kiss on Shuichi's forehead and tightened his hold on him. Shuichi said nothing, but held the man back. What was going on with Yuki? Did this mean he was sorry? Shuichi hoped with all his might it did. The rain around them seemed to be lightening and now only tiny droplets fell on occasion. Pulling back a little bit from Shuichi, Yuki gave a half smile.  
  
"I.....Gomen nasai[1], koibito[2]." he murmured.  
  
Shuichi blinked, hardly believing what he was hearing. He placed a hand on Yuki's cheek and smiled gently.  
  
"Daijoubu[3], Yuki-chan..."  
  
The man pulled his smaller lover into another hug and nuzzled his neck, placing a gentle kiss there. He shut his eyes tightly and sighed, running his hand through Shuichi's pink locks. Amber eyes opening slowly, he put his mouth beside Shuichi's ear.  
  
"Ai shiteru[4], itooshi[5].."  
  
*~We're gonna live our lives  
  
Gotta live our lives  
  
We're gonna live our lives  
  
We're gonna live our lives, Gonna live our lives, Stigmatized~*  
  
______________________________________________________  
  
It's ok I guess, but I'm not all that fond of it. I decided to end it here because I'm starting another Gravi fanfic! I hope you will all go and read it when it's done! Thanks again for all your support. -NoriChan  
  
[1]Gomen Nasai: I'm very sorry  
  
[2]Koibito: lover  
  
[3]Daijoubu: It's alright, It's ok, I'm alright, etc.  
  
[4]Ai shiteru: I love you  
  
[5]Itooshi: Beloved, the one you love 


End file.
